


in my veins (and i can't get you out)

by ElizabethMikaelson



Series: Hizzie Ship Month 2019 [3]
Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Day 7-8, F/F, Prompt four: Fight and Make Up, and YES I WANT HAFAEL BEST FRIENDS, and they angst, but like, hizzie here fight, hizzieshipmonth, however it will be better, sad angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-12 23:23:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20164327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElizabethMikaelson/pseuds/ElizabethMikaelson
Summary: “I won’t let you do that. I’m breaking us up, Hope-”“I thought you loved me,” bites out Hope, tears falling down her cheeks. “Until the bitter end, wasn’t that what you said?”aka: No relationship is always flowers and smiles, but will Hope and Lizzie survive their first bad times?





	in my veins (and i can't get you out)

**Author's Note:**

> nads forced me to write angst and i wrote angst just to bless her so this is for u,, anywayz i hope u like it and that it makes u cry so please leave kudos and comments and show ur love,,, ily and enjoy

It had been coming for a while now. Hope blames herself for not noticing the signs, for not noticing Lizzie distancing herself from her.

She should have known what she and Lizzie had was too good for her, too good for someone like Hope.

Should have noticed the change in her attitude. How the text messages were shorter, how Lizzie didn’t say  _ I love you too  _ before Hope would run towards the newest trouble.

Yet, she remained inside her bubble. Continued thinking her relationship was perfect, continued killing herself inside from missing Lizzie and always ruining their plans because God couldn’t let her have one good thing and enjoy it.

It’s a Saturday when the other shoe drops.

Hope comes late to her room, tired and bloodied up from a new monster and only needing a bed to rest and sleep until the next day. She opens her door silently, groaning as she weighs too much on her left leg.

Her eyes widen when she notices Lizzie sitting on her bed. 

“Lizzie, hey,” says Hope, smiling at her girlfriend as she walked slowly towards the bed. At least she didn't have to walk to the twins room anymore, could hang out with Lizzie here.

Lizzie doesn’t reply, only stares at Hope’s body with hurt and concern in her eyes. Yet, Hope shivers when she notices the other emotion on them, something she felt better ignoring.

“You missed our date again.” Hope sighs loudly, falls down on the bed and leans her head back on her pillows, breathing deeply before sitting up to look at Lizzie.

“I’m so sorry, there just was a monster and I-”

“Do you even want to date me, Hope?” Hope freezes at the question, staring at Lizzie’s back. 

She loved Lizzie, she loved her because Lizzie was her other half, her anchor and her person. Lizzie had been there for her as much as Hope had been there for her. Lizzie had been the one to save her from Malivore, to remember and help her settle in again. The one to help Hope love again and show her what love really was.

She loved Lizzie. It was why she tried so hard being in all of their dates, why even if she would be dead tired from fighting a monster she would put on a smile and go cuddle and spend time with her.

“What do you mean? Of course, I do-”

“Don’t lie to me. We promised each other we wouldn’t lie.” Hope is silent then, knowing Lizzie still had to talk. 

“You are busy all the time with the monsters and missions my dad gives you. We don’t even hang out these days. Tell me one date you managed to be at with me this week.”

“Lizzie, can we  _ please  _ talk this out tomorrow? I am so tired and I can’t feel my entire body-”

“ _ That’s how it always fucking is!” _ Hope is taken aback by the anger in her voice. She struggles until she gets up, not surprised when Lizzie also stands up.

“Lizzie, I-”

“You don’t have time for a relationship right now.” Hope feels something in her break, eyes tearing up. She knew where this was going, and yet she didn’t want to.

“I’ll try harder, I promise! I’ll spend less time on missions and more with you! Please don’t do it,” begs Hope. She shudders when Lizzie turns towards her, her usually warm blue eyes now grey, staring at Hope coldly.

“I won’t let you do that. I’m breaking us up, Hope-”

“I thought you loved me,” bites out Hope, tears falling down her cheeks. “Until the bitter end, wasn’t that what you said?”

Lizzie’s mask breaks then, Hope notices the pain in her eyes and how her hands are shaking. But then it comes back up again, making her seem miles away from Hope.

“You thought wrong. I don’t love you anymore. I can’t be with someone who attracts trouble and doesn’t even spend time with me.”

That breaks Hope. She cries and doesn’t notice as Lizzie leaves, her own face wet with tears.

Hope screams as the door closes, falling on her knees as a wave of magic crashed around the room. It was a mess, reflecting how she felt right now.

She wasn’t surprised Lizzie left her. The blonde deserved more, deserved someone who didn’t have death and trouble following her like a shadow. Lizzie deserved more, someone to love her and be there for her.

Her father used to say that love made everything possible.

But what if even love wasn’t enough?

Little did she know, that on the other side of the door, Lizzie crumbled down, crying and breaking down silently, clutching her heart. 

Perhaps that way she could keep it from breaking into pieces she couldn’t collect.

\---

The first day is the hardest.

Hope and Lizzie share most classes, and when Lizzie sits with Penelope instead of with Hope, heads are turned.

Josie arrives later and she looks at her girlfriend with a surprised look, who only shrugs helplessly. The girl walks over to sit at Lizzie’s old seat and wait for Hope to come in.

The bell rings and Hope isn’t in class. Josie is worried when she feels the weight in her stomach, guilt which isn’t hers. Which only meant that it was Lizzie’s.

“I’m sorry, I’m late,” says Hope as she bursts in the classroom. Dorian rolls in eyes, but motions for Hope to go to her seat. 

She freezes for a moment, staring at Lizzie who refuses to look back at her. Did Lizzie really change seats?

Her heart was crushed harder with each moment that passed with Lizzie refusing to even throw her a glance.

“Miss Mikaelson, on your seat please,” says Dorian. That snaps Hope out of it, who lowers her head and sits beside Josie in silence.

The rest of the class passes normally, the only difference being Penelope and Josie, who share glances with each other more than they listen to Dorian talk. Both try to talk to Hope and Lizzie, yet one is silent and the other snaps back.

As soon as the bell rings, Hope darts out of class, not even turning to look at Lizzie.

She couldn’t handle seeing Lizzie and feeling the coldness of her stare. 

She couldn’t handle being forced to face another person who loved her and left her.

\---

Hope finds herself alone.

She sits in the middle of the woods alone, in the same night as the full moon. Hope doesn’t move, only sits with her knees drawn on her chest and chin resting on them, eyes glaring at the tree before her.

Lizzie hadn’t talked to her all week, only avoided her and straight-up walked away when Hope got close to her. It was heartbreaking, made Hope feel small and run away, wolfing out until she was tired to even take another step.

Her phone rings, breaking the silence and making Hope groan loudly. She opens it without looking at the screen, already annoyed by whoever was interrupting her brooding time.

“What do you want?”

_ “It’s the full moon, you should get inside.”  _ Lizzie’s voice is cold, reminding Hope of the years when the blonde used to hate her guts. Hope chuckles, closing her eyes as she kept her phone closer to her ear.

“I’m a tribrid. I’m sure that even if I die I’ll just come back as a hybrid.”

_ “Let’s not test that theory now. Come back, ba- Hope.”  _ Both girls notice the slip-up, and yet none comments on it. Hope sighs, spends a moment just hearing Lizzie breathing from the other side of the phone.

“I miss you.”

Lizzie’s breath shakes.  _ “Just come home. I don’t want to talk-” _

“My bedsheets still smell like you,” murmurs Hope, stopping to swallow her tears, “I still can’t change them. I’m scared if I wash them I’ll have nothing left of you.”

_ “Are you drunk?” _ Hope steals a glance at the empty vodka bottle beside her. Not surprised Lizzie had noticed. They  _ had  _ dated for a year after all.

“You have forgotten your jacket in my room. I still sleep with it at night. It helps me feel like you are there.”

_ “For the best of us both, stop saying things you will regret-” _

“I thought you were the one with abandonment issues, Lizzie,” snaps Hope.

She was tired, exhausted. She was tired of holding it together before everyone. 

She was tired of acting as if her heart wasn’t broken in pieces.

“It’s so funny. Aren’t people usually the one to break you up? Or did you want to try it yourself once?”

_ “Fuck you, Hope _ ,” spits out Lizzie. Hope feels the pain inside herself, yet she doesn’t care, wanting nothing more than to press every single button Lizzie had.

“Come on, Elizabeth. Did I really matter that little to you? Just a few missed dates and suddenly I’m the worst girlfriend who can’t handle a relationship?”

_ “Just shut the fuck up-” _

“Or did you realize I was just not good enough for you? Realized you can’t date someone who stinks of bad luck?”

_ “Stop this-” _

“ _ No!”  _ screams Hope. “I am  _ tired  _ of this! You said what you wanted to say. Now let me fucking talk. I missed dates, right? Well, do you remember that date I came late to once? Oh yes, I had my ribs broken then! But no! I didn’t rest! I had to go to my girlfriend who I had missed a date already!”

Hope enjoys the silence she gets as a reply. “That night you came to my room and broke us up, I was slammed against a wall three times. I’m pretty sure I was bleeding. But I was planning on coming over, you know? I was going to get some roses from the garden and surprise you.” Hope breathes out and rubs her tears away angrily.

“I am tired, Lizzie. I’m sorry I made you fall out of love from me. I’m sorry I’m a trouble magnet. I’m sorry for whatever I might have done to you.”

Lizzie doesn’t reply, but Hope can hear silence and small noises from the other side of the phone.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t enough to make you want to stay.”

“ _ Just stay where you are.” _

Hope stares at her phone in shock. Did Lizzie really hang up on her?

She sees why when the blonde appears before her, still on her sweatpants and shirt that Hope knows she wears only after an episode.

“Let’s get you to your room,” says Lizzie. Hope doesn’t protest as Lizzie lifts her on her arms, walking them back to the school.

“I’m sorry for getting mad at you,” whispers Hope against her shirt. Lizzie sighed, hugs Hope closer to her body.

Hope feels sleep taking over her, and she can’t react as she feels something wet drop in her head. 

“I’m sorry, but it’s for your best,” murmurs Lizzie and Hope can’t even ask her what she meant when her eyes fall closed and sleep takes her.

\---

Hope wakes up the next morning in her bedroom, covered in a thick blanket. A glass of orange juice and some pills rested on her nightstand beside a letter.

_ “Don’t drink and stay outside. Be responsible at least.” _

She crumbles the paper and throws it away, chugging the orange juice before getting up.

\---

The gym is the perfect place to let it all out. 

Hope pants as she punches the punching bag before her, the ground underneath her shaking from the power of her punches.

“Want a sparring partner?” Hope smiles a little when Raf walks in the gym. She nods her head and both get ready in silence, shaking hands before going on position.

“Do you wanna talk about what has you this on fire?” asks Raf as he evades one of her punches. Hope grits her teeth, kicking him and wasn’t surprised when he easily blocks her.

“I am absolutely fine,” spits out Hope. Raf hums in agreement and Hope gasps when she is thrown on the ground, the boy standing and looking down at her.

“You kick my ass but today you are punching out of anger. So wanna release that anger while talking it out?”

“Emma must have grilled her healthy ways of dealing with emotions in your head,” replies Hope. She accepts his hand and gets up.

“That was actually Josie.” He punches her as he talks and Hope tries hard to focus on evading the shots rather than on the girl who broke her heart.

“That’s rich coming from Josie. Or wait, Josie _is_ the sibling who has learned to talk about her feelings.” Raf looks at her weirdly, groaning as her kick ends up tripping him to the ground.

Hope sees red when he gets up, fighting with a wave of anger like the wolf she was.

“You know what’s funny? Every single person who has told me they loved me,” Raf evades a very dangerous head punch, “has left me!”

“Hope-”

“My father?” Hope laughs and continues attacking the boy. “He just… died! All for his stupid parental love for me!”

“Hope, calm down-” But it was in vain, and Raf could only focus on making sure any of her kicks didn’t hit him.

“My uncle? My mother? All loved me and fucking  _ left me!”  _ Hope radiates magic as she throws punches, and Raf is thrown away, quick on his feet.

“My ex, Roman? Oh wait, he helped kill my mother! Landon? He didn’t even remember me and even when he did, he just… said goodbye to whatever feelings he had!”

Hope can feel herself losing control of her emotions, and yet she can’t stop. She is glad she is at least fighting Raf, who can handle her fighting and punches.

“And now Lizzie! Lizzie with all her fucking until the bitter end talk. Bitter end _my fucking ass_!” Her voice gets louder as she speaks, and her punches get harder. 

Raf groans when he doesn’t avoid one, knowing he would probably bruise later. But he knew Hope needed this. She had been for him every time he would need a way to release his anger. If this helped her, well, he could use the extra training.

“It’s not my fault monsters love coming after my ass! It’s not my fucking fault Alaric can’t handle one monster without calling me to help! I just wanted to spend time with my girlfriend and finally have someone who thinks I’m worth staying for!”

Raf tries remembering what Josie did to him once to calm him down and he finally finds the chance to be closer to Hope when the girl stops punching to breathe.

“Hey, calm down!” says Raf, resting his hand on her shoulder and collarbone. He knows Hope is calming down when her erratic heartbeat calms down under his hand.

“That’s okay, good job. Now, wanna talk  _ calmly  _ about your heartbreak? I’m a master for these talks,” jokes Raf. Hope nods her head and takes a deep breath, settling on the ground.

“Where did you learn that?” asks Hope as she calms down her breathing.

Raf laughs gently. “Josie did it to me when I was angry like you were. I just tried remembering it.”

“What is this with people calming me down with methods Josie taught them?”

“Probably because Josie knows how to handle people with anger issues?”

“Yeah, Penelope not needing a hairstylist to cut her hair really shows how well she handles her own anger,” replies Hope. 

Silence takes over them and Raf starts tying his shoes better, giving the girl space to talk.

“Lizzie broke up with me. Said that I wasn’t spending enough time with her and that-” Hope swallows, “-she didn’t love me anymore.”

Raf nods his head and takes a moment to reply.

“Did you try talking with her about it?” Hope rolls her eyes and coughs the feeling of crying away.

“She already said what she wanted to say. It would be useless.”

Raf shakes his head. “Lan taught me something important once. If I felt something and it was bothering me, I should talk about it. Did  _ you  _ tell her  _ all _ you had to say?”

Hope is left stunned by his words. He was right after all. Lizzie did tell her all she had to say. The ball was in Hope’s side now and it was her choice to fight for Lizzie or not.

“You should talk to her. Don’t be left with regret, y’know?” tries Raf, and a smile comes in his face when Hope raises her head with a confident look.

“You are right. I should try it,” Hope gets up and Raf follows suit. “Lizzie is the girl I love and if my family history has taught me anything is that you should fight for those you love.”

“That’s my girl. Go now, since I’m pretty sure I can hear the pack coming for our usual training,” says Raf. 

He is surprised when Hope hugs him, but he just hugs her back, letting the girl relax for a moment. “You can do it. I have seen the way Lizzie looks at you and when we go to Emma together she talks for you like those lovesick fools in the movies.”

Hope breaks the hug and nods her head, smiling at the boy. “Thank you, Raf. You are a great friend. I’ll probably see you during the full moon!”

Raf smiles and nods his head, watching her go with a proud smile. He was glad he helped Hope because if anyone had helped him, it was Hope. The least he could do was repay her with being a good friend.

\---

Hope walks with her confidence leaving her with each step she is closer to Lizzie’s bedroom.

What if Lizzie actually didn’t love her anymore? What if she was just over her head and she destroyed even the remaining respect Lizzie had for her?

She stands before her room for ten minutes, until the door is slammed open and Lizzie stands before her.

“I could smell your anxiety from inside the room,” says Lizzie. Hope continues staring at her, the longing finally setting in as she stared into ocean eyes.

“Hi there,” breathes out Hope. Lizzie doesn’t move to let her enter and Hope claps her hands together, gripping them tightly.

“So, uh, can we-“

“Hope! Fast there is a werewolf gone wild in the forest!” calls Alaric, running past them outside.

Lizzie stares at her, waiting for Hope to make a decision in silence. The tribrid looked where Alaric left and then at Lizzie. 

“Five minutes-“

“Just go, Hope. I’m used to this.”

“ _ Five minutes,” _ stresses Hope. “If I’m not back in exactly five minutes don’t even open your door.”

Hope runs away then, catching up with Alaric outside.

—

_ “Five.” _

Hope groans as she tried to find a way to calm down the wolf. She knew if she turned into a wolf she would just hurt him and make herself tired enough that she wouldn’t have the power to talk with Lizzie.

And she  _ had  _ to talk to Lizzie after five minutes, dead or alive.

—

_ “Four.” _

“Get your ropes ready!” calls Hope, diving to meet the werewolf heads in, still in her human form. It was dangerous, but it was the fastest way.

Alaric had no time to call out for her, only taking out the ropes and getting ready for the perfect moment.

—

_ “Three.” _

Hope screams when she feels the werewolf’s claws on her side. She manages to grab its head on time, throwing him on the ground and tying him with the rope Alaric throws her.

She should have been more careful, but she knew the minutes were passing fast. She couldn’t risk losing time to slow down.

—-

_ “Two.” _

“Hope, your side-“

“I have to go now!” calls out Hope, already running inside.

She was pretty sure some of her blood had ended up on the floor, but she didn’t care.

—-

_ “One.” _

Hope felt lightheaded, stumbling on her steps as she arrived at Lizzie’s door.

—-

_ “Zero.” _

A knock broke Lizzie out of her counting, opening the door shocked and she nearly screamed when she saw Hope’s white shirt soaked in blood.

“Am I on time?” breathes out Hope. Lizzie doesn’t even care to answer her, only helps her inside and sits Hope on the couch.

Hope feels sleepy, leaning more against the couch and closing her eyes. But her eyes snapped open when Lizzie slapped her.

“You are  _ not  _ dying on me, Mikaelson,” says Lizzie. She takes out the scissors from her emergency kit, tearing Hope’s shirt and gasping when she sees the damage.

“Oh god,” murmurs Lizzie. Hope only hums, feeling safe as Lizzie rests her hand on the ground and siphons some magic to heal her.

Hope smiles when she feels her warm hand on her skin, the surge of power healing up her wound and closing it. Lizzie starts working then, sitting on her knees as she bandaged Hope.

“You are good with your hands,” murmurs Hope. Lizzie rolls her eyes, tightening the bandage and enjoying the glare Hope sends her way.

They are face to face now, and Lizzie’s eyes widen, lowering her head to focus on her work. She passes the bandage around Hope’s arm, tightening it and making sure every part was covered.

“Why didn’t you fight him as a wolf?”

“Too much time, I wouldn’t have the energy to come here afterward,” confesses Hope. Lizzie swallows, lowering her head and only after a moment does Hope realize she is crying.

“Liz?” whispers Hope, but the girl only leans her head against Hope’s collarbone, hands resting on her bandaged waist. 

Hope doesn’t know what to do, and she only wraps her arms around her, one hand resting on her back and the other keeping Lizzie’s head close to her.

“What’s wrong?” Lizzie still doesn’t reply, only cries until Hope can feel the tears wetting her bandages. 

“It’s you,” says Lizzie. Hope is confused but waits for Lizzie to continue, the blonde still in her arms.

“You have this dumb hero complex and I can’t ask you to change yourself for me.”

Only then does the truth dawn on Hope, and her eyes widen as she pushes Lizzie to face her, hands on the blonde’s shoulders.

“Do not tell me what I think-”

“You were burning yourself. Monsters and trying to be my girlfriend at the same time. I let that happen once to Josie, I wouldn’t do that to you.” 

Silence fills the air after Lizzie’s words. The truth was out, the reason why Hope passed a week heartbroken and a week of Lizzie killing herself inside just to protect Hope.

“Lizzie, look at me,” pleads Hope. Lizzie looks at her then, blue eyes shining and Hope wipes her tears away gently, resting her hands on her cheeks.

“I don’t care if I have the whole world on my shoulders. If I have my anchor beside me, I can handle everything.” 

It was the first time Hope was that sincere, the first time she had confessed her feelings without blushing or being scared to open up completely. Lizzie nodded her head and kissed her, Hope smiling against her lips.

But she broke the kiss when Hope winced, Lizzie’s hand on her hips tightening their hold on her.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry-”

“It’s okay, don’t worry-”

They kiss again, not caring for air and just finally feeling  _ whole.  _

“Who could have thought? Lizzie Saltzman being the selfless twin,” teases Hope. Lizzie rolls her eyes, smiling as she touched Hope’s side and saw her wince.

“Only for you. And after all, Jo did tell me to start showing my big heart more.” Hope smiles, getting up and helping Lizzie stand too.

They don’t talk as they lay down, Lizzie laying down against the pillows. She keeps her arms open until Hope settles in a comfortable position against her, nuzzling closer to Lizzie’s neck.

“This was a too emotionally advanced move from your side,” says Lizzie. Hope only hums as a reply. “With who did you talk?”

“Raf. I nearly killed the poor guy from my anger,” whispers Hope. Lizzie giggles, hand trailing up and down Hope’s back.

“Did he use the Josie method of calming you down?”

“Why does  _ everyone  _ use them with me?”

Lizzie laughs then and Hope tries burning the sound in her memory. “Well, she is my twin and Raf’s best friend and ever since he and Jed became friends, he also became good friends with Penelope. I’m sure that Josie is the link of us all.”

Hope only hugs Lizzie closer, resting her ear against her chest to hear her heartbeat.

“No breaking me up anymore because you think it's a selfless move, okay? We talk it out the same way we always have.” Lizzie nods her head, and Hope laughs lightly when she raises her little finger. 

She grabs it and holds it, feeling the same rush and emotion she felt when she did this for the first time with Lizzie.

“Let’s sleep now. We will talk more tomorrow.” Hope agrees, laying a kiss on her neck and closing her eyes.

“I love you.”

Hope tears up when she feels Lizzie’s lips against her head, falling asleep in peace when she hears the words she had time without hearing coming out of Lizzie’s lips.

“I love you too, Hope. Always and forever.”

**Author's Note:**

> tell me more on my twitter @thehopesaltzman


End file.
